My oldest son brought home 14 pounds of candy on Halloween. 14 pounds. That’s 433 pieces in the event you were wondering.
And then the negotiating began. I love that he goes for what he wants. He is a tireless negotiator. If we haven’t finished the process before bed, it will be the first thing he asks in the morning. He is relentless in what he wants & will use just about any tactic to try to persuade you.
This time though, he negotiated himself right out of a deal.
He started with my husband, smart move, he’s much nicer than I am. Initially he was gunning for $.10 per piece of candy, that $43.30. When Scot didn’t initially shoot him down, but instead showed a sliver of consideration, he tried to solidify his deal by claiming that’s what we had paid him in the past.
I have no idea if that is what we paid him in the past, and I don’t care what I paid him in the past. I can tell you there was no way I was giving the kid more than 40 bucks for having the time of his life with his friends. Nice try though.
I inserted myself from the other room with a resounding, ‘absolutely not.’
He did the math for $.05 per piece, which is $21.65 and was more than disgruntled. Compared the the $43 he had mentally put in his pocket, this $21 seemed like nearly nothing.
But let’s remember he’s 9 and it’s not.
I was good with the $20 offer, but instead of taking that, he gunned to split the middle at $30. Again, solid negotiating move. But I was tired & I also wasn’t going to pay him $30…I mean that’d mean I’d have to go to the bank & then break the $20, blah blah blah.
Then we all went to bed.
When I woke him up, his first question, with sleep still in his eyes, ‘so mom, $30?’
‘Yeah no, $20 take it or leave it & get ready for school.’
Packing lunches, he struck up the conversation again with his dad, still gunning for $30, and this is where he negotiated himself out of a deal.
Before I got started on my little rant, I sufficiently strapped on my mom jeans & found my mom voice. Because here’s the deal, I am not in any way, shape or form obligated to buy his candy from him. Lest he forget, I took the opportunity to remind him. I don’t even want his candy. I certainly don’t need his 14 pounds of candy. When I spend $20 of my money to buy his candy, I’m doing him a solid favor. All I want to do with it is throw it away & I’m willing to pay $20 to do that.
What I am obligated to do, as his mother, is ensure he doesn’t actually eat 433 pieces of candy over the next 2 weeks. That and make sure he doesn’t grow up to be entitled & act like an idiot. A tall order, but more & more I can sniff out that entitled attitude from a mile away. This one was rolling in like a steam train, pulling idiot right behind it.
And so his deal, promptly got cut to $18 and then nothing. It’s kind of like standing in the Shark Tank, you roll your eyes at the deal or don’t take the deal and it goes away.
He loved that analogy & I’m pretty sure he’s going to love when I throw it away while he’s at school next week.
Probably not, but I bet next year, he expects $20 and is grateful for $20, which means I’ll probably give him $30.
Mom jeans for the win.